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Social anxiety or the most common term used when we refer to a guy meeting girls is approach anxiety. One of the most common problems when it comes to you actually meeting a girl or future girlfriend or future wife is you can’t even speak to her.

In the beginning, you’re never going to get yourself a girlfriend if you can’t build up the courage to approach her. Something that I’m going to talk about today is in my opinion what approach anxiety is, I’m going to tell you how it works and I’m going to give you a few hacks to overcome it.

How Can I Gain Confidence with Girls?

• Work on yourself everyday
• Exposure to rejection
• Remember to smile and enjoy yourself
• Surround yourself with confident people (do coaching with me 😉 link here)
• Become more sociable with everyone
• Don’t take yourself so seriously
• Do things that make you feel uncomfortable
• Expect failure and keep going
• Cardio exercise
• Get a wingman who takes action (not a coffee drinking theory junky that thinks they know everything)
• Be positive
• Start conversations, don’t expect others to do it for you
• Listen to what girls say and reply accordingly
• Try something new everyday to keep things interesting for yourself

What is Approach Anxiety?

So all right, approach anxiety is one of the the biggest problems that you guys will face when it comes to bringing new girls into your life. So I’m going to try to help you guys get through it today approach anxiety is when you approach a girl or when you are thinking of approaching a girl.

Then your heart rate will start increasing, your adrenaline will start pumping. You will start feeling a little bit scared. This fear will prevent you from even talking to a girl that you don’t know personally.

One Common Approach Anxiety Theory is…

It’s not that you’re scared of talking to the girl. It’s that you’re afraid that when you cold approach the girl and start speaking to her, you might be violently attacked by a rival male.

You might not be able to see any other men but deep down you will feel fear and that is built into your genes. For thousands of years, men who talked to the wrong girl or approached the wrong girl have been violently bashed to death or simply attacked by a rival male.

Put simply, a man that feels no fear of talking to strange girls has historically been attacked or killed and therefore these types of fearless men with zero approach anxiety have not reproduced and therefore these genes have not been passed down to future generations.

Most men these days feel social anxiety when they see a beautiful girl in public and would never dare to talk to her because deep down his genes are warning him of danger. His ancient genes have learned that cold approaching girls in public is a very dangerous thing to do.

This still happens in Africa today. If a guy goes into the wrong territory and speaks to the wrong girl of an opposing tribe, he will literally be bashed by the rival tribes men.

They may even bash him to death, this has been happening for thousands of years amongst homo sapiens. And if you have a look at say lions or Apes in the wild.

If a wild animal was to get lost and find himself in a rivals territory and managed to talk to a female from a different group/family.

I’d bet that this lost male would be attacked by the alpha male of that group. This lost male will most probably die from this expedition into a rival tribes territory and him genes will not be passed down and these adventurous genes will die out over time.

The males who stuck within their own tribe, never went looking for foreign girls and obeyed the rules are more likely to pass on their genes.

That’s how it works in the wild and that’s what’s built into your DNA. You are afraid to speak to her because you’re afraid that you’re going to be violently assaulted for doing so.

Wingmen Help With Approach Anxiety

That’s why a lot of guys get themselves a wing, to help them overcome approach anxiety. So you can join a few pick up forums or groups to get yourself a wing and then you feel… oh, I can approach now.

You feel like you’ve got someone to talk to and help you to go over there and speak to girls. But what’s really going on is you ”Daygame” the girl and deep down even though it’s an unspoken thing between you and your wing, you think your wingman is going to jump in and protect you in a fight.

If something was to happen to you when you are out together Daygaming and approaching girls. This is an unspoken truth that all men who seek out wingmen to meet women all know deep down.

If you go out solo you usually will have a lot more approach anxiety then when you have a wingman with you.

When Should You Game Solo?

Going out solo to meet girls during the day or at night clubs can be debilitating for most men, they won’t have the courage to even speak to one girl. If you are actively trying to bring more girls into your life via some form of Daygame or Nightgame and you are relatively new and also trying to do it solo. You’ll mostly find yourself wasting many hours getting no approaches done.

But there is an upside, once you get the first say two or three approaches out of the way, you will reduce your anxiety significantly during that particular session.

It’s like getting into a rhythm or it’s like jumping off the bridge into water. The first time you jump into the water, it’s terrifying but once you have jumped the first time, it becomes easier immediately.

So, if you take just one thing from this post, always remember that the first approach is always the worst, but then it gets easier after that. The downside is that the very next day, your approach anxiety will be back again.

This means that everyday your anxiety levels will reset back to their original level and the first approach will be difficult again.

Downside To Having a Wingman

Another part of that problem is that you will go out with a wing sometimes and you will be fearful to approach good-looking girls that you really want because you are afraid that your wingman will judge you if you get rejected.

You may want the validation of your wing which negatively affects who you approach. It’s funny that some guys join pick up groups to meet wings to help with their approach anxiety and instead find themselves developing another problem that also prevents them taking action anyway.

It’s funny that guys can’t go out solo because they’re afraid of being assaulted (approach anxiety) then the wing they get to help overcome their approach anxiety ends up judging them for being rejected. So, these guys end up being trapped in the communities with wings that don’t help them.

But they also don’t want to lose these wings because they are now friends. Then the most common thing you’ll see, is ”daygamers” who meet up with their wings and simply go for a long walk together but don’t do hardly any approaches because they fear that their wing is going to judge them.

And deep down they fear that if other guys within the community say that they are bad at ”game” then other guys within the community won’t wing them and they will ultimately be isolated again.

These guys find themselves trapped seeking validation within the groups and avoiding judgement which unfortunately puts them in the original situation they started with (no real increase in approaches and therefore no new girls coming into their lives).

The only upside is they end up with many new male friends which is cool but not the original reason they join the pick up community in the first place.

How YOU Can Overcome Shyness with Girls

Here’s how to Overcome Shyness with Girls. I offer live coaching, where you and I go out into the real world and we meet girls together. I’ll, in a matter of speaking ”hold your hand through the entire process and help you to beat your shyness with women. Sign up here.

Why are you shy around girls?

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
• What is indirect daygame
• What I say to Girls (Logistics)
• How to Write a PickUp field report
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
• Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.