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This article is dedicated to men who suffer from anxiety when meeting girls.

The amount of times I’ve seen new guys join up to the pickup community with social anxiety is off the charts. Don’t think that you are special or are going through something new.

This is common, plus there are many guys who wouldn’t say they have social anxiety who still get nervous approaching girls. So, there are many guys out there who have different levels of social anxiety.

Most men feel anxiety when approaching women. The difference is how each man deals with his anxiety.

Dave – One Man’s Life Mission

• Most guys have some social anxiety – You are not alone
• This takes time, be patient
• Find a good pickup coach who’ll put it the effort needed
• Tonnes of exposure training
• Exercise will get the dopamine flowing
• Positive mindset
• Use good methods from an experienced pickup coach

Operant Conditioning

This basically means that when you take an action, if you receive a positive outcome early, it will motivate you towards more action that will get you more positive results. A virtuous cycle if you like.

Many times I’ve come across guys who have got results from game early on and this has motivated them to put in more effort over time. These guys end up with superior skills in game than the average guy.

A problem arises, when a guy has bad results early on. This can demotivate him into doing less and therefore entering a downward spiral.

This may sound like I’m going into sales mode, well I guess I am. Just make sure that you pick a good coach, so that you have the right results early on.

Conquering Social Anxiety Takes Time

This takes prolonged effort over a long period of time, when you realise this, it will take so much pressure off your shoulders. Know that tiny steps taken everyday towards beating social anxiety will give you far superior results long term, rather than going hard in the short term, trying to change the world within a shorter time period.

Daily effort includes : Being social everyday. Starting a conversation with someone new everyday, no matter who it is. Then branching out towards meeting girls on a daily basis too. The most important point is that you need to take consistent action over a prolonged period of time. Then before you know it, growth will happen without you even being aware of it.

You are not alone : Every man has some form of social anxiety when it comes to meeting women. Some guys don’t show any anxiety at all, this does not mean that they have no anxiety, they simply have ways to overcome it in the moment. This should inspire you to conquer social anxiety too.

Go Out Solo

• Inner confidence
• Wingmen can be a crutch

Having wingmen is a crutch in most cases, you should focus on being able to approach girls when you are by yourself. Please don’t fall into the trap of believing that a wingman can add value to your ability to approach girls.

There is only one exception and that is when you get to the level where you need a wingman for night game, so that you can get consistent results. We can discuss that in another post.

But other than that, the ability to approach when solo, gives an independence to a man that can never be taken away by any circumstances. Men who can approach solo, elude confidence in every aspect of life and this is something worth aspiring to achieve.

Theory Junkie

The theory junkie has social anxiety. Because the act of simply approaching is so difficult for them, they end up thinking way too deeply on ways to overcome their anxiety with ”the perfect approach”.

By the way, the perfect approach doesn’t exist, game is pure rejection on a daily basis. This often leads these guys to over think every aspect of game, then they end up going down the rabbit hole of buying every book, every digital product, talking theory with everyone they know.

But they continuously forget the most basic of thing is missing from their game. And that’s the approaching part.

Never forget this lesson. It seems obvious, but I've seen it way too many times for it not to be something worth talking about. 

The Marathon Walking Wingmen

Here’s an observation I made years ago, that has continuously been confirmed over time. It’s funny when I think about it, but this is quite relevant to the topic of social anxiety.

The marathon walkers haha. Every year, there are a new bunch of guys who join up to the pickup community, some learn from successful guys, some don’t. The guys who don’t, they meet up with a few guys in the community and think that game is easy, all they have to do is approach. How very wrong could they be.

The guys who are less likely to want to learn from anyone, usually have social anxiety. Everything seems to be moving too fast for them, so they hide away and talk theory with guys in the community that take less action. They learn quickly that these same guys have social anxiety too, so they become best friends and don’t go out for a session without each other to hold hands with.

Once you know of two newbies to game who have social anxiety and their ego’s won’t allow them to reach out for help. You will start to see them everywhere, always together, always walking long distances, never approaching, just talking theory. This is why I call them the marathon walking wingmen.

Another problem with these guys is, they soon become ”theory junkies” like what I described above, but these guys have a very toxic element to them.

Only after a few months, they think they know everything there is to know about game and this ego they’ve built up, makes them very judgemental. So, this is when there whole world becomes very toxic, this is a warning to you guys reading this.

Soon, they start placing judgement on everyone in the community, as if their opinions matter. Keep in mind, these are two guys who don’t approach, they just walk around talking theory and never get laid.

You’ll see them on yet another marathon walk around the city and when they will spot someone else approach, they will stop and observe others approaches, then critic them. The sad thing is, they live in this delusion that their opinion matters and that there is a perfect way to approach, so their judgement of others simply ends up fuelling their social anxiety more so.

The sad thing is, these guys end up sabotaging their own results by not taking action at all, while simultaneously ostracising themselves from the pick up community at the same time. Try not to fall into the same trap.

They usually last about 1 year before quitting and get very little results. 

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.

Thank you for reading, please keep in touch.

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
• What is indirect daygame
• What I say to Girls (Logistics)
• How to Write a PickUp field report
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
• Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.