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A woman’s baseline emotional state is not arousal. Women don’t often walk around looking at men, desiring them all day. Most of the time, women are thinking about anything but sex. Only on rare occasions do women think about sex frequently, this means their baseline state is in a non-aroused emotional state.
Most men on the other hand, especially when they are younger men, are mostly walking around always horny and on the lookout for women. Most men don’t need a change in their emotional state to become aroused. This means that the baseline emotional state of a man is usually ready to mate with a girl all of the time.
As a man, you need to understand this, in order to take the right action, which leads to you building sexual tension with her.
How Do You Build Sexual Tension?
Changing her baseline emotional level by breaking up her usual patterns. Do something spontaneous (eg: surprise her with a new destination or activity), which will pike her emotions. Now you’ve broken up her emotional routine, you can slow it down. Hold strong eye contact, hold her tight. Talk slower, move slower, take your time, there’s no rush.
Scheduled-in, boring routines are not very exciting for women in general. This is often the main complaint women have about their husbands. ”our life is just a boring routine”, ”my husband never takes me anywhere new” says most married women.
Married women get bored with having the same routine everyday, then at the end of the day, having the exact same sex she has every night. I get it, a man’s life is hard, and the best way to overcome a hard life, is by having a solid routine that keeps everything in order.
However, women lose interest fast, when they are bored.
If she knows exactly what will happen between you and her, it’s boring for her, making women less likely to get aroused.
Get Her Invested Sexually
Eye contact is very important. By holding strong eye contact with a girl, you are letting her know that you are invested in her, and that she has your full attention.
Don’t worry about intimidating her with strong eye contact, women don’t experience eye contact as a physical threat like us men do. In fact the opposite, she will wonder why you aren’t focussed on her, which will make most women want to pull away.
While talking to her and making strong eye contact, she will feel fully engaged in the conversation. Don’t worry about running out of things to say, this is not important. Actually the opposite. When you run out of things to say, simply stop talking while staring into her eyes.
She will feel all of the tension. Put all of the tension onto her by remaining silent, and by holding your gaze. In most cases, she will feel the need to fill the silence with words. If she does this, you have spiked her emotions and possibly aroused her (depending on the situation and the girl).
If she looks straight into your eyes without seeming to break, just give a slight smile while holding strong eye contact. Hopefully this will get her talking or smiling or giggling. The goal is to get some form of emotional reaction out of her. We want her reacting to you, not the other way around.
Don’t Judge Her For Being Sexual
Deep down, some guys judge women who are very sexual. It’s called ”slut shaming”, maybe even you judge women even though you aren’t aware of it. Men who slut shame, don’t even know they are doing it.
It’s important for you to do some deep work on yourself. Think deeply about every interaction you’ve had with a girl who was overly sexual. Did you judge her?
Here’s another way to look at it. After sleeping with a girl who was extremely sexual, did you tell a friend the story about how sexual she was? Was her exuberance in bed something that shocked you?
If any of these thoughts happened to you after sleeping with an overly sexual girl, this means that deep down, you are shocked by women who are sexual. You are somewhat appalled by women who crave sex as much as you or more than you.
Unfortunately for you, most of these sexual women can feel that judgement, whether you try to hide it or not. This inner judgement could be why you aren’t getting laid as much as you would like to.
Building Sexual Tension Recap
Start by doing something spontaneous to break up her baseline emotional state. Spike her emotions with something spontaneous that breaks up her routine.
When the time is right, hold solid eye contact, slow everything down. Push all of the tension onto her, which can make her invest in the interaction.
Finally: Think about your inner feelings about sexual women. If you are the type of guy who ”slut shames” women or judges women for being sexual, this could be hurting your success rate with building sexual tension with women.
Here are some of my best posts:
- Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
- What is indirect daygame
- What I say to Girls (Logistics)
- How to Write a PickUp field report
- How to spot a fake dating coach
- How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
- Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid
If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.
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