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Try to imagine how the coolest guy you know would approach a girl, how would that look. It’s always desirable for you to approach a girl in the smoothest way possible.

You don’t want to come across awkward or creepy. Remember, even the most confident of guys out there, still get nervous, but it’s how they deal with this emotion that makes them smooth and cool. Today I’m going to discuss how to approach girls.

3 Second Rule

The idea of the 3 second rule is exactly what the name describes. As soon as you see a girl that you are attracted to, the clock starts ticking at that very moment and you must approach her within 3 seconds of the very moment you notice her.

What’s the purpose of this strategy?

Maybe there is a few reasons for this strategy, but from my own experience, it seems to be for guys who have social anxiety.

The theory is, the longer you look at the girl and think about approaching her, the more the anxiety builds up and the likelihood you will do the approach decreases. So, someone designed the 3 second rule as a way to force men with social anxiety to take action without allowing the anxiety to build up to a debilitating level.

There are major problems with this strategy.

The main problem with this strategy is, that you will end up doing such uncalibrated approaches, that you will embarrass yourself in public. Here’s a scenario :

You are in the mall and you spot a cute girl with her mother. 3 second rule kicks in and you charge in for the approach, you find yourself stuck in a conversation with her and her mother, which makes it difficult for you to push for a date. But, if you had waited a minute, her mother was about to enter the shop and the girl you wanted to approach would have been able to have a conversation with you alone. Which would have increased your chances of getting a date.

Another scenario :

Girl is waiting outside a shop, leaning against the wall, looking at her phone. You walk past and notice her, 3 second rule kicks in and you go charging in for the approach. She is super friendly and you think it’s going well, until her 6 foot 5 giant of a boyfriend comes out of the shop and stands over you.

Yup, she was waiting for her boyfriend outside and if you had waited only 1 more minute before charging in, you would have avoided that awkward situation.

Another scenario :

You see a two hot girls sitting down at a table in the food court of a shopping centre. They’re enjoying a nice conversation about some gossip that happened over the weekend. 3 second rule kicks in and you charge in to approach these girls who are eating and are busy with their conversation.

They laugh and tell you that they are busy, ”nice to meet you, see you later”. Sure you got the approach in, but it was quite uncalibrated. Then you look around and realise that several other tables of people are looking at you, yes they are wondering what is wrong with you, because this is not normal behaviour.

Or you could have waited a few minutes, the girls could have finished up their coffee’s, given each other a hug goodbye and separated. Then you could have chosen which one you found more attractive and approaches her just on the periphery of the eating area of the food court. This would have been smoother and would have a higher probability of success.

Covert Game Always Wins

This is the type of game I personally teach my clients. I run Immersion coaching courses currently in Australia, though I will make plans to visit many countries for coaching in the near future.

Instead of using the 3 second rule, I’d suggest you take some time to think about what she’s doing and where is she going. Have a close look at who she is and how to smoothly get into a conversation with her.

If she’s in a public area surrounded by onlookers, then you will need to start the conversation as if you already know her (not easy, but you can with practice).

Often the best girls to approach are walking around aimlessly, perhaps just doing some window shopping with no real obligations on for the day. Also, you will be surprised to realise that these are the same girls who are lonely and somewhat hoping a guy would come into their lives.

Just use your common sense, if a girl is running, with a group of friends, eating at a restaurant, driving her car, riding past on a bicycle etc. These are mostly uncalibrated approaches that you probably should not do.

How To Approach a Girl Without Being Creepy

• Be confident, a confident guy is rarely seen as creepy
• Vocal tonality – Have a strong confident voice
• Let her see you coming – Don’t approach from behind and scare her
• Have strong body language – Stand up straight and confidently
• Eye contact – Look her in the eye, try not to look around as if you are nervous

This is a very subjective topic, mostly it depends on the girl, the situation, her mood etc. It’s important to not put too much pressure on yourself to do the ”perfect approach” because that just does not exist.

It’s common for an unattractive guy to approach the exact same way and attractive guy does, only to be labelled creepy (keep this in mind too). This doesn’t mean that you should not approach anyone, if you are less attractive, definitely not.

How Do You Talk to an awkward girl?

Awkward and weird girls with social anxiety or some type of mental problems are never your fault. It’s sometimes impossible to tell if a girl has a mental problem before saying hello to her. But, if you are out there approaching often, you will come across an odd awkward girl every now and then.

Recently I walked next to a girl and simply said ”hello, how’s your day going?” and this weird girl looked at me, then started powerwalking away. It did shock me, imagine if an onlooker saw that from a third persons point of view. They would not have heard what I said, only what she did.

The assumption would easily be made that I said something extremely offensive. This is the worst reaction I’ve had in many years by the way, so don’t think that this is common place. Most girls you approach are just normal, like you and me.

If you happen to approach an awkward/shy girl, just focus on compliance. Does she want to continue talking to you or is she too shy to say something. The easy solution to this is, show empathy by asking her if it’s okay for you two to have a chat. Tell her that she can go, if she likes.

Most of the time, a shy girl will stick around after she knows that you are cognoscente of how shy she is and she’ll feel more comfortable around you because you have empathy.

Good Game is Boring

When you watch all the shocking pick up advice out there, it’s easy to think that you need to do outrageous things for the approach to work. I mostly teach indirect daygame for the majority of my clients. Depending on who you are, I’d argue that many men could use direct game is the superior method for them.

Usually the best approaches I’ve ever made have been boring, calibrated conversations that I’ve run in a very smooth way.

More Approaches is NEVER the Solution

I’ve met so many guys who have come to the conclusion that more approaches is the solution. Instead I would argue that they have so many different methods of game to try, yet they never innovate by trying these new methods. So, these guys just end up spam approaching everything in sight, assuming that more approaches equals more results with girls.

Don’t burn out your local area. Some guys end up being known by security guards at the local mall, girls start recognising them in the street, sometimes police stop them to ask what on Earth are they doing, and in extreme cases, these guys sometimes end up becoming infamous on social media.

This is just wrong. It’s wrong on so many levels. You always have more tools at your disposal than just increasing your approaches.

Analyse Your Daygame Results

What’s your approach to hook ratio?

How many flaky number do you get?

How many girls give you a fake number?

Are you trying instant dates?

What’s your approach to date and lay ratio?

Are you texting all the girls you meet and extracting the best out of it?

Do your dates come back?

At the end of the day, if you are not getting results, then perhaps you can consider getting some coaching.

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
• What is indirect daygame
• What I say to Girls (Logistics)
• How to Write a PickUp field report
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
• Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.