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The key to having the best possible outcome on a first date with a girl is figuring out how to keep her talking about herself. Women love to talk about themselves, have you ever hung out with groups of girls and listened to how they communicate with each other?

I’ve got to say, if you spend enough time hanging out with many different groups of women, over time, you’ll notice a pattern.

One girl will talk about a topic while relating how said topic interacted with herself and her feelings. Then seemingly out of nowhere, another girl within the group will talk about how that topic affected her personally, with a brief description of what happened to herself.

It’s strange to hear girls totally ignore each other, then bring all the attention to themselves instead, it felt like all these groups of women were constantly fighting each other for the attention of the group.

None of the girls in these groups seemed to leave their talking sessions properly satisfied. As if they never got enough time as the centre of attention.

Dave

What I got out of these interactions, is that most women are very much focussed on themselves. Almost in a narcissistic way. While ignoring, almost blindly everyone else around them.

If she cannot get enough time to talk about herself when she’s with her friends, then you can allow her to satisfy her need to be listened to on your first date. So, get her to talk about herself, make her the center of attention, she’ll feel satisfied if you allow this to happen.

On the first date, everything you say will be used to cancel you as a possible mate. Talk less, say less. Stay in the game.

Dave

Another reason why you should get her to open up about herself on the first date is, she will be constantly on the lookout for reasons you are not a good fit for her.

Remember the fact that women are the ones who choose in the dating market, they have a list of suitors who want to date them, then they pick and choose which is the best one for them.

So, instead of looking for your positive traits, instead, she is constantly screening you for ”red flags” to remove you from her list of guys to date.

If, instead of listening to her, you are arrogant enough to think that you are going to tell her all date how awesome you are. And, don’t get me wrong, you are probably better than her in every way.

But regardless, she will be ignoring how awesome you are and focus on what the negatives are instead. Therefore, the more you talk, the higher the probability you will gather some dirt on you she doesn’t like. So, let her do the talking.

If she leaves the date feeling like she was able to release everything she wanted to say, if she was able to get everything about her life off her chest during the first date, she will feel totally relaxed, released etc etc.

The funny thing is, this is when, at the end of the date she goes home wondering what type of guy you are, she might even realize that she didn’t learn anything about you (she won’t realize how self-involved she is though lol).

This is how the ”mysterious man” or building ”mystery” comes from. It’s her need to be heard, and self centeredness that allows you to create mystery with this simple first date strategy

Dave

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle
• How to get a younger girlfriend
• What is indirect game
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.

How Much Should You Communicate When First Dating?

How Much Should You Communicate on a First Date? The first impression always lasts, never neglect this advice when you go on the first date with her, many relationships fail because of wrong impressions. One of the most important things that have an impact on a first date is communication.

You may be questioning whether you’re communicating enough for the relationship to develop. There is no definitive answer that shows how much communication is correct.

Basically, dating gives you the opportunity to get to know her, and sometimes you plan to share a lot of things on your first date, but when meeting her you may find her a talkative person who talks a lot about herself, and you may find it difficult to sit and listen to her!

But I say that it could be a good thing that she’s talking a lot, you can know so much about her in just one date. You can understand her personality and think about her personality will help you figure out how much/what level of communication is appropriate for both of you.

Let Her Talk About Herself

Nervousness is obviously very common in the early stages of dating. When she feels anxious, she may feel the need to fill in every gap in the conversation to avoid awkward silences, that’s why you will notice that she is talking a lot about herself. Or maybe she is really a talkative person who loves to talk.

So, in both situations, all you must do is let her speak out.

Be a Good Listener

Listening skills are about more than just waiting for your turn to speak. Keep the conversation flowing by showing interest. Pay attention to what she says and let her speak.

Be a good listener, nod in understanding while she is speaking. Learning to listen will be a good opportunity for you to know about her more, just make sure you remember what she tells you.

You can show your interest by saying and repeating some phrases, such as: (This is really fun) and (Tell me more), or you can ask thoughtful questions about what she is saying, such as: (How did you feel when it happened?), or ask questions that motivate her to continue, such as: (For you, what is your favorite part of this experience?).

Identify Some Topics in Your Mind to Discuss. You may not need these topics, but it’s a good idea to have a few on your mind in case you both have had weird moments of silence and need to act quickly, So, open a topic to discuss.

Think about the questions you might ask her that are likely to have open answers that allow for discussion and avoid asking those questions that can only be answered with yes or no.

Try asking her, “Do you like to travel? What countries would you like to visit the most?” Discussing travel aspirations will make her feel more comfortable and may even increase her attraction. You can also ask her about the best trips in her life, which will open an interesting topic for discussion.

Be Interactive in your Conversation with Her

Being interactive by commenting on what she is saying will give you a chance to talk. Say something interesting. Offer her to tell something that no one knows about you, make her eager to hear you, and then invite her to do the same.

You will automatically see that she is listening to you and eager to get to know you more.

You can tell any story like hers or any funny incident from your memories, you can also use sentences that switch the conversation. Like:

That’s interesting, it reminds me of…, or say Oh wow! It happened to me like this too, or I’d like to tell you something, and then you can continue the conversation.

Quality of Communication on the First Date

Don’t focus on the quantity of communication during the first date. You must pay attention to the quality of your communication and your interaction with her.

Even if she is the one who talks a lot, what matters is that you get to know a lot about her. And maybe you will have more opportunities on the second date because she will undoubtedly be eager to get to know you since you gave her the opportunity to share with you and talked about herself.

Finally, it is not about how much you communicate, but it is about HOW you communicate and interact, all you must do is follow the tips mentioned above to have a happy experience on your first date.