At this moment, the vast majority of men’s dating coaches are still pushing the direct method of cold approach. That’s fine, however, I promise that my indirect strategy is a far superior strategy. And over time, I believe the majority of ”dating coach marketers” will eventually start trying to teach indirect game too.

Sure it’s more complex and takes a higher degree of social intelligence. This doesn’t mean the average man’s barrier to entry is out of reach for most men.

It’s not. With practice, you can master it too.

Inner Game: Masking Their Feelings Of Inferiority

There is a high attrition rate with guys who get into learning cold approach. In Sydney, I’ve probably seen a thousand or more guys come and go over the years. Usually, during the December holidays in Sydney, you’ll see a bunch of new fresh faces join the local pick-up groups looking for wings.

By the end of autumn, say April, or May the majority of these guys have disappeared. Sure, some of these guys are from overseas, backpackers etc. Their visas end, then they leave Australia, but the majority of guys quit because of their poor success rate. Bitterness towards women kicks in, because of the flaky numbers, girls who ghost them, rejection etc.

I don’t want to over-simplify things, though I did notice the guys who disappeared the most, were using some form of direct method. Which is the preferred strategy for men who are already trying to mask some form of inner feeling that they are inferior to women. So, pretending that everything is okay, putting on a brave face, smiling and even laughing at their rejections, when in fact it’s hurting them inside.

Imagine feeling ”less-than” while being told that every method you need to use is only making you feel worse. Compliment the girl, pour your heart out to every girl you meet within seconds. It’s difficult to find the strength to constantly give so much positive energy to strangers, especially when very little positive energy is being returned to you.

Many of these men start feeling like they are walking door mats. Complimenting a girl, showing intent, only to have her say ”sorry I’m not interested” or some other rejection to that effect, it hurts. Then repeating that process continuously for hours can be brutal. There’s no other way to see this.

I call it ”death by a thousand cuts” or a thousand approaches.

Why not protect yourself (inner game) by never showing intent, never complimenting, and never allowing yourself to be looked down on like a doormat. Instead, you can learn to read women better. Withhold any indication that you are even interested in her, which will make her wonder whether you even are interested, some call this mystery.

Never Justify Your Existence As A Man

Why guys who use indirect game, never justify their existence in the world, and how that helps with inner game.

There is no reason to explain to the girl why exactly you are starting a conversation with her. Most guys and online dating coaches for men tell their audiences that they need to explain why they are talking to her.

Let me explain: The most common is after starting the conversation with a girl off the cold approach, you will explain two things to her.

1. Say something like. ”I saw you from over there, so I had to come to say hello”
2. Show intent. Tell her in one of a multitude of ways, that you are attracted to her.

Scrap all of this. As far as I’m concerned, this is showing weakness. I’d even say that it shows uncertainty within yourself. Almost as if you are nervous to even approach her in the first place.

Not too many girls find a man who is uncertain, a little nervous, and a man who needs to explain himself. I’d argue that women don’t find this very attractive.

If you cold approach a girl, then explain to her how you approached, then you pour your heart out to her by giving a compliment (showing intent). If you put her on an unjustified and unearned pedestal like that, then she rejects you, it will actually hurt a little.

However, if you approach her without placating to her, it will matter less when she rejects you. You’ll be able to walk away with your dignity in tact.

Imagine justifying your existence everywhere you go in life, it does nothing but project weakness into the world, while teaching your inner voice to think that you are weak too. This will make every aspect of who you are weak, and women rarely are attracted to weak men. So, stop it.

I’ve had both my hips replaced (three massive surgeries), fired for being disabled, my family left me, plus a whole bunch of other serious human rights violations. I tell myself every day how tough I am to still be alive, I’d never show weakness to myself or others. This helps me get up every morning to face the day.

I recommend you do the same.

Instead, I recommend you start your conversations with an environmental observation. By simply mentioning something nearby that is an invitation for her to engage with you. If there’s nothing creative in the environment to comment on, simply say hello to her without justifying your existence.

She doesn’t have to respond, and you shouldn’t care. Sure this indirect method has a lower open rate (the number of girls who stop to talk to you after trying to start a conversation) but you keep your dignity, which massively helps with your inner game.

Indirect Game Requires A High Social Intelligence

Advanced game is never tricking a girl into doing something she doesn’t want to do. It’s all about helping her do something she wants to do. If that’s the case, then all you need to know is whether she’s interested in you and help her to take you home.

Why not just ask her then… Well, this is the argument from the direct guys. It’s a low skill, low IQ, clunky strategy that shows her that you don’t have very good social skills.

Having the ability to read that she’s attracted to you, while keeping the mystery whether you’re interested in her or not. Now that points you in the drivers seat. You have a huge advantage, if this was to happen.

Indirect Daygame requires a higher than average social intelligence, far more than the clunky direct method. Getting into indirect conversations without showing intent, then looking for micro signs that she could possibly be interested in you. This isn’t easy, however it can be learned.

If you’re never really putting yourself on the line, then it’s never really a rejection is it. You are simply feeling out whether she’s interested or not, then moving on to the next girl.

If you learn the ability to read whether a girl is interested in you, this becomes a superpower. You will no longer need to put her on a pedestal while showing intent (which is an emotional liability for your inner game). Instead you can become mysterious, holding your cards close to your chest, which will keep her guessing.

I’d rather get into indirect/covert conversations with women without showing intent, because I’ll never blow out my local area (no matter how small of a town I live in). This gives me the opportunity to re-approach the same girl again, and build rapport over a longer period of time. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes increases the probability of success with her.

Guys who use indirect game, rarely have any inner game issues.

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
• What is indirect daygame
• What I say to Girls (Logistics)
• How to Write a PickUp field report
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
• Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.