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When it comes to failing while fighting for success in life, then eventually overcoming all odds in order to get success in multiple fields. You are in good hands here. Check out my book ”The Disabled Casanova” if you have any doubts about my credibility.
It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get back up and keep fighting
Rocky (Movie) Quote
Why you must fail to succeed in the dating scene and in life. Think about failure. How many times did you experience failure and how did it make you feel? It was probably not a good thing. How do you feel about it?
It’s not that men worry about failure, what happens is that they fear the outcomes of failure. Men dread the negative that surrounds the whole anticipation of failure before they even fail or not.
It has to do with many factors. People don’t feel like they have many role models to look up to and if they fail they almost expect punishment, which includes being called a failure.
There aren’t enough challenges to overcome and people don’t realize that learning through experience is one of the best methods, however, it’s normal to make mistakes when we are learning and that’s not a reason to call them a failure.
Failure is what makes men better, and it’s what helps them achieve success.
Difference Between Failure And Success
Steven Pressfield is a famous American writer who spent 99% of his life failing. His failures were becoming a heavy burden on his shoulders, the burden of failure started to reduce his motivation to keep writing.
Logically, why should he keep writing when everything has failed in the past and therefore has a high probability of failing in the future?
This mindset makes perfect sense. . .
Steven Pressfield calls this the resistance – The resistance is what prevents people from trying again. When someone works hard on a piece of work or spends time mastering a skill, yet finds themselves failing consistently, there is no incentive to keep trying. That’s the resistance.
However, success will never come if you succome to the resistance. Allowing today’s failure to stop you trying again, will only lock in yesterday’s failure for life. Unless you decide to overwrite yesterdays failure with today’s new version of failure. Creating new failure today is beating the resistance.
After years of failure and overcoming the resistance, Steven Pressfield eventually wrote a famous book that became a best seller. He didn’t allow the resistance to prevent him from realising his success.
Anthony Robbins calls this failing forward. It’s pretty much the same concept. Keep failing and moving forward. Beat the resistance and fail forward. I’d say they missed one small aspect of it, the overwriting of yesterdays failure part.
It can be motivating to know that today you can replace yesterdays failure with another fresh failure. A newer version of failure, perhaps even a less embarrassing form of failure. Maybe a failure you could be proud of.
There are levels of failure, receiving the silver medal in the olympics is a form of failure you can be proud of. Whereas, coming totally last because you were too lazy to put in the hard work is embarrassing.
The silver medalist failed forward and beat the resistance, while the person who came last allowed the resistance to stop them from training at all and is the reason why they came last.
Success and failure are different sides of the same coin. With every failure there is some success and with every success, there is still some failure. Nothing is perfect
Failure is Part of the Success Process. Since we started going to school, the idea of getting things right at first is engraved on our brains and only a few tries are acceptable. This is because we are taught that we should stop trying when we fail.
You will never get anything right the first time, nor will you ever do anything that is perfect.
However, we need to experience failure to succeed.
Failure To Succeed Socially
Learning from our mistakes is the best learning method. You need to keep trying until you get it right. What happens is that men specific, are weakening in almost aspect of their lives. Many can end up in prison or join gangs. Others live boring life that revolves around work and family.
You cannot succeed unless you go through the process of trial and error. This is can be applied to social interactions, which are present in most areas of someone’s life. A truly masculine man is aware of this.
Social Success Tips
What about social Success?. As social creatures, it’s important to know what are the things that are okay to do and the things that aren’t.
A golden rule is that only by making mistakes fewer times each time, means you are learning from them, which then will make you succeed in future social situations.
What’s social success? Let’s look at an example. You can almost identify the energy of the people you like. It’s almost as if you know where to point them in a group without looking.
What is about them that makes them interesting? The qualities that make a person with high value or capital is how calibrated they are in social situations.
Not everyone masters these skills without practice. You need to make something clear: You can have great potential in social interactions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to practice. You need to put in the work to master these skills to see the results.
Can Failure Lead To Success?
FAILURE IS INEVITABLE. You have probably heard that you are going to hear a lot of “No’s” before you hear a successful “yes”.
When we are talking about meeting girls, you will get little positive feedback at the start, but you will make progress if you keep trying.
However, failure is not tangible in life. It’s only perceivable through setbacks that one must overcome, but in reality, it’s never a failure, only obstacles to success.
If we think that way, failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of it. It will only be possible to achieve success if you try many times and fail more than half those times.
For everything that you find worth achieving in life, there will be challenges and obstacles that are best overcome with a good set of skills. Having said this, failure is inevitable, you just need the willingness and grit to keep going.
How To Succeed Socially?
Look at any guy who is good with girls: If he can cold approach any girl in a given social setting and can easily get a date, you should be wondering:
How did he achieve success around women?
You should never look at celebrities and other famous people as an example, those are exceptions. Having success in the dating arena is only possible if you possess a good set of experience and skills.
It’s crucial to be able to navigate social situations and, at the same time, be in control of internal and external challenges. What hinders this is that there are men who get paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake, which means that they never leave their comfort zone.
They are too cautious about taking action, and they use it as an excuse to always be in familiar and, most of all, safe settings. In other words, choosing this route presents very little risk.
Turn Your Failures Into Social Success
Put your knowledge into practice. To be successful in life, you must be active. You need to take a lot of action but always follow the right path.
However, quantity is not enough. You will need to have a good level of the right skills to navigate social situations.
Essentially, you need to work smart, besides just working hard.
But only up to a point. At the moment, you need to focus on being active the right way. It’s hard to find a structure for learning once you are no longer in school, but that’s exactly what you need.
It’s only through a structure that you can go from being average or fairly good to being exceptional at something. Having read this may sound like you’ve hit a wall, but this is not the end.
First of all, you need to answer this question: Are you willing to improve yourself? If the answer is yes, then you should be prepared to fail a lot along your path, and here’s why:
- Only those who try can experience failure. Perhaps, the reason why you didn’t experience failure is that you didn’t even try.
- Use failure as an indicator that you haven’t finished treading your path. It means you still have things to do until you reach the finish line.
- Remember to count your failures, because it only means that you are getting close to success.
- Don’t be afraid that your failure comes with feedback. As harsh as it may sound at the time, it only means that you received help so you can keep moving forward.
- Being afraid to fail won’t take you anywhere.
Even if you dream about changing your life for the better if you let yourself be guided by fear, that will only pull you back.
There are some things that you need to have in mind. You are going to fail and keep experiencing a lot of setbacks. While the feeling of experiencing them is not the most pleasant, they happened to make you see that you indeed tried and took action and to show you that you still have a lot to learn. Learn from those falls and your path to success will be much stronger.
Here are some of my best posts:
- Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
- What is indirect daygame
- What I say to Girls (Logistics)
- How to Write a PickUp field report
- How to spot a fake dating coach
- How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
- Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid
If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.
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