Why you must learn to be an asshole. And I’m not just talking about being an asshole and hating on everybody and just being an asshole for no reason at all. I mean, being an asshole, that’s good world.

I’m going to elaborate on that because I think a good asshole is good for themselves and is good for society.

That might sound a little bit counterintuitive to most of you guys out there, but let me elaborate.

Boundaries are very important. And how can you set boundaries if you are too agreeable? People just push you around.

Women in general will just walk all over you and they will take what they want from you and you will just be too agreeable. And well, that builds resentment.

Next thing you know, you’re building resentment quietly because you’re a nice guy and you don’t want to look like an asshole.

You don’t want to show emotion. You just want to be very calm, cool, collected, and just agree with people. And you want everyone to like you. Well, that resentment builds up.

Next thing you know, you’re acting a little bit passive-aggressive, and maybe people around you that you really hate because they ripped you off three years ago or they got the better of you in some sort of a discussion and you’re building resentment and you become passive-aggressive with them and they don’t know why.

You just hold this resentment and the only person that really suffers is you. So when you’re too agreeable, you don’t tend to get what’s right for you.

People say, stand up for yourselves. But I would say, just speak what’s on your mind.

I need this. I want this. This is something that I need out of this transaction. You’re in a discussion. If you’re a little bit disagreeable, you’re more likely to speak your mind.

When it comes to someone that’s a little bit more disagreeable, everyone tends to be happy with the outcome at the end of it because you’re able to communicate better and being too agreeable and trying to not make enemies.

In fact, what you’re doing quite often is making enemies because you shut down communication. You become resentful and you become passive-aggressive because you didn’t get what you want. But really, it’s your fault. And it’s not the other person’s fault, it’s your fault.

What to do if She Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries?

Now let me just tell you a little bit of a story, a little bit of background on why I’m saying this myself. I came from a very traumatic upbringing with a very abusive mother.

A stepfather, I was taught that children are supposed to be seen and not heard.

Yes, that is correct. I was not allowed to talk. And I found myself just being quiet around the house. That let into I became very disagreeable very soon at school.

And one thing that happened was whenever I interact with adults, I had this very agreeable behavior.

I didn’t want to argue with them. I didn’t want to disagree with them. I didn’t want to ask for things that I needed. I remember going to visit friends, and I felt shy asking to use the toilet or even ask for a glass of water.

And I was a little bit malnutrition. I was very skinny as a team. There were times there when I was very thin, and that was because I wasn’t allowed access well enough access to the fridge or the cupboards at home.

When I go visit my friends, I would be starving, I’d be hungry, and I’d be too shy to even ask for food. So it’s like a bit of a feedback loop because I was trained at home to not really ask for things.

Now, this upbringing, when I started to work for people would then flow over and really damaged other aspects of my life.

I remember going to work and I just wouldn’t stand up for myself. But it wasn’t really standing up for myself. It was more that I didn’t want to ask for what I needed.

I felt that if I asked for what I needed or they wanted me to work longer hours or some other guy wanted me to do his job or help him out, I would end up helping him out instead of doing my own job.

Then the boss would come around and go, well, why didn’t you do your work? And I was like Because I was helping other people because I was too agreeable.

Over time, I learned that this was my problem. It wasn’t their problem. They asked, and I needed to be responsible for my own actions.

I needed to think, okay, well, they’re asking me for something. I need to think, okay, can I offer that? No, sorry, I can’t.

Then after a while, I learned over years and over years of practicing this that I need to just say, look, this is what I need.

I need something in return for whatever you need from me. And every now and then there are obvious mistakes.

We all make mistakes, and sometimes we’re not aware of what we need. But it does come back to one aspect of it is you not wanting to feel bad and you wanting to always be seen as the friendly person.

So when you say no, you’re afraid of yourself feeling bad because you’re making them feel bad.

And you’re also worried that you might lose friends. You’re worried about all these other things and in fact, I would say the reverse is true.

I would say someone with strong boundaries and says, oh, sorry, I’ve got other things that I need to be doing or sorry I can’t help you out because of XYZ, this type of person can be relied on Because they’re more likely to just tell you the truth.

They’re not going to waste your time by being too agreeable and they’re more likely to get to the point and not waste anyone’s time.

That’s something that I think would be a good lesson for a lot of you guys out there to just stand your ground.

And often with men, they will respect you a lot more. Not because you’re a tough guy, but they’ll respect the fact that you’ve got things to do and they’re not going to hold it against you if they ask for your help.

It’s a communication thing. Now, this can flow off into all aspects of life. There are different types of people who are deemed to be assholes.

And I would say there’s a moral asshole. Someone who stands up for the rights of others, Someone who is willing to fight for what is right in society, Someone who’s willing to say things at their own risk Because they know that it is good for society.

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
• What is indirect daygame
• What I say to Girls (Logistics)
• How to Write a PickUp field report
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
• Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.

Women Are Attracted To a Man With Boundaries

These are the people that when you go out of your way and you stand up and at your own the detriment of your own reputation, you’re risking financial you’re risking your job, you’re risking everything by standing up for the greater good of society.

When you do that, one thing that will quite often happen Is a lot of the agreeable pussies out there And I call them pussies for a reason Because they don’t back up people who put themselves on the line, a lot of agreeable people, they will then either send you a DM, they might send you an email.

They might actually just come over and say hello to you and go, hey, I like how you stood up for all the other workers or you stood up for other people and they’ll look over their shoulders before they get started.

They will say Thank you for doing what you did. You see, we need more moral people who are willing to stand up for what is right in society and that is lacking.

There are not a lot of men out there that do that often.

I would say that there’s a huge difference between a guy that goes out to try and do what’s right for society and put his name, but his life put everything on the line for what’s right and just an all-out asshole that only thinks about themselves.

I would say that there are more assholes who go out into the world and are fighting battles, and rules. They’re only doing it for themselves.

There are far more of them than there are moral assholes that will stand up for what’s right. There are a lot of assholes that are literally shitting on people in society and boosting their own ego, but they’re not good for anyone else but themselves.

There’s a huge difference between these two. And I just wanted to make that clear. So that just in case you guys were thinking, I was saying, yeah, just go out and be a total asshole to everybody.

There’s a difference between someone with morals and someone who is being an asshole for self-gain.

Now how does this relate to dating? Well, it relates to the nice guy. And I think this is a very important lesson.

So, for instance, I had a client that was going out on dates, and those dates were going on for too long.

He was finding that from the beginning, from meeting the girl, cold approach, the sweet art of cold approach, all the way through several dates, he’s finding himself trapped, and he was too nice to try.

After several days, he turns up. He wastes all of his time. Well, he doesn’t waste it because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen.

He spends all his time getting dressed. He’s all ready to go. He’s going out on these dates. He’s spending a lot of money. He pays for the dates, which is something that I recommend, actually.

And then what he’s doing is he’s not willing to go for the kiss. He’s not willing to invite her back to his place.

He’s not willing to push it forward. And there are several dates in and he spent hundreds of dollars. And then she goes in.

This was a common thing. And he said he was going through all of this all the time. It was constantly getting ripped off by a lot of women.

And he was becoming a little bit bitter. And next thing you know, he’s becoming a little bit resentful because he was losing out there and he was becoming a little bit passive-aggressive.

His communication level started to actually drop even lower than what it was before. He was getting all of these bad experiences.

Boundaries Are Good in a Relationship

If this relates to you and you are seeing a lot of this yourself, I would recommend let me just tell you a story. There are a few stories out there.

This has happened to me many times in the past, and I had to learn the hard way as well.

And this is why I decided to become a coach because I have a lot of experience and I have put a lot of time and effort into dating.

And there’s been times when I’ve met up with a girl. This is just one example and she was very rude to me. She spoke down to me, she was very hot, she was very attractive, but she was very rude to me. She was very condescending.

And we met up, we’re walking along and she’s talking down to me and we end up going to a restaurant and she starts going, oh, is this the restaurant? And talking down as if it’s not high class enough for her.

She was just poking at me all the time as if like everything that I was doing was wrong and she was rude.

We sit down and the menus come out and she starts looking through the menu and I go, 1 second, I just need to go to the toilet. And I didn’t go back.

See you later. I’m out of here. I didn’t say goodbye either. I thought you got to eat by yourself.

I just cut it and left and I thought I could just say goodbye and then leave, but I thought, well, you’ve dug this hole for yourself.

You’re the one that’s rude and I’m not going to tolerate it. I’m going to walk away and just let you eat by yourself.

Then ten minutes later I get a text message saying, you left, didn’t you? blah blah.

Another example and I’ll stay on this one example.

I think, what if I had hung around and tolerated that? What if I don’t have any boundaries? What if I don’t say, look, this is unacceptable to me, but let’s allow this girl because she’s hot to just break down my boundaries and treat me like this. well, I got boundaries.

They’re pretty solid boundaries.

I have the ability to walk away at any moment because I live in abundance. I have options. I have enough girls around and I know the sweet art of the cold approach.

It doesn’t matter how old I get i’ll be able to bring new girls in so I can walk away at any moment.

Another thing that happened was this has happened a few times. I would have, say a date with a girl and she would either be a little bit too. So for instance, if I try to go for a hug or I try to hold a hand and we just met, we’re walking to go for a coffee or something like that.

She seems into me, but it doesn’t seem like this is going anywhere. I can’t even hold her hand.

She won’t let me put my arm around her. And then some of them will actually say, oh, we’re just friends.

Just like try to friend zone you on a date and expect you to pay for even just a few drinks or depending on where you’re taking them. And this sometimes happens. It really does.

Number of times that I have met up with a girl, it happened last weekend, actually a week and a half ago. I had a date with a girl.

She turns up and, yes, puts my arm around her. She’s like, oh, go for the hand.

She’s like, oh, no, I can’t do that. Can’t be holding hands or anything like that. And I just thought, hang on, and is this going to go anywhere? And I just looked at her and go, you look tired. Maybe we should reschedule.

She’s like, really? What’s going on? I’ll see you later. I’m not going to waste my time with a girl that is not giving anything back. I’ve got boundaries.

I’m out on a date. You’re either going to complain, you’re going to give me a hug, you’re going to hold my hand, you’re going to come out for dinner and respect me and make it a good date.

You’re going to meet me halfway. I’m happy to pay for the date. I’m happy to uphold my end of the bargain.

But if you’re not holding your end of the bargain and you’re going to be like, pushing me off.

That’s what I recommend that you guys do yourselves. This is the type of advice that I think we can scale up to.

Setting Boundaries With Your Girlfriend

If every man behaves like this, then there won’t be women going out on dates with guys that they’re not attracted to.

They won’t expect it at all. They will know that they’re going out on a date with a guy who is buying dinner and going out with them that, well, they have to be attracted to the guy.

They can’t just use the guy for a free meal. Especially after the last couple of years that we’ve had. With economies collapsing all over the place, some women will actually just use you.

Another time I had a date with one girl, she sat down and said, do you mind if my friend comes? She pulls out the menu and starts ordering all the food.

She says her friends were on away over and this was our first date, and she expected me to pay for her and her friend. It was like I was the checkbook. I was there to just pay for everything.

Hang on, hang on. What’s going on? Stop. Wait up. Wait a second.

What’s going on here? I think you guys should go eat by yourself. I’ll eat by myself, and I’ll find a girl that actually respects me.

Now, I think this is really important to have those boundaries, especially when it comes to dating and also with men as well. Now, finally, I guess I’ll throw in one more story, which is something that happened quite recently.

I recently got into the dating industry and some guy was trash talking. He was actually trash talking to a friend of mine.

He was making videos trash-talking to that friend of mine. And he even said some racially motivated things about a friend of mine. But also it was related to me because I assisted.

It was the first boot camp I had an assistant on and he was attacking that boot camp.

If I was an agreeable person that would just go, oh, it’s okay, I’m not gonna fight back. I’m just going to just allow this guy to trash talk.

Well, we wouldn’t be anywhere, would we? Nothing would have happened. And my friend would have been publicly attacked continuously with more and more videos.

I was thrown into the mix. But you see, what I did was I was like, okay, well, I’m not only going to defend myself because I’ve got boundaries.

Real Men Have Strong Boundaries

I’m also going to defend my friend, which makes me a good friend because especially a good friend to have around because if you’re in trouble and you’re a friend of mine, I’m going to defend you. I’m not only going to defend you publicly, I’m going to defend you privately.

That’s the type of friend that you want, a friend that has boundaries, a friend that looks after you, a friend that has you back, right?

You don’t want a weak-minded friend. That when someone trash talks you, your weak-minded selfish friend goes, oh, yeah, he is a dickhead, too. They just agree, right? That’s a weak man. That’s not the type of friend that you want.

You want a friend that goes, what did you say about my friend? That’s my friend. Why don’t you go fuck yourself?

Well, naturally, then I went out publicly and attacked this other person, and I’m going to continue attacking this person until they shut the fuck up.

That’s just how you should do things within the moral boundaries of the world, too. You see, if that person is out of line, you need to pull them into line or at least try to stand up for yourself.

Doesn’t mean you have to be the policeman of the world, but you have to at least stand up for not only yourself and set those boundaries, but also those boundaries need to be around your friends. And this is also related to women.

So if you have a girlfriend and someone trash talks to your girlfriend, you say, hang on, don’t talk shit about my girlfriend. Within reason. Of course, if it’s a joke, you got to understand the context.

You don’t go around being a White Knight, but if someone was to do something or attack someone that is close to you, you should be at least capable of defending them.

When it comes to dating women, they trust a strong man, and they need a strong man for that very reason.

That doesn’t mean that you need to be able to bench 200 kilos. It just means that you need to be able to at least verbally express that you are not happy with what went down and at least take whatever actions are required to defend the people that you care about.

This is very much related to dating, women don’t trust weak men.

It’s okay to be an asshole as long as you are moral, you don’t cross the line and you’re not just hating people for no reason.

You’re not just hating people for views. You’re not just hating people for personal gain.

You’re hating people because you’re hating on people or being an asshole with morals and you’re doing it because it’s for the betterment of society, not just for personal gain.

I hope that makes sense to you guys. I rented I wouldn’t call it a Ranch. I went on a little bit on a few different tangents, but I think they’re all related. I think it’s okay to have solid boundaries and be a moral household when needed.