Sign up for the newsletter and get the free video series (plus a PDF) delivered to your email.

Calibrating yourself before approaching girls is one of the most advanced aspects of game and even the best get it wrong quite often.

The law of diminishing returns kicks in, when you reach this level, which means we are only trying to get those 1% improvements in your game with proper calibration. It’s important to understand that no matter how well you do calibrate to the approach, you cannot control how she is going to react.

So, although having the ability to calibrate when you cold approach girls is an important skill, understand that you won’t get it right 100% of the time. Because that’s the nature of game, it’s unpredictable.

Initiating The Conversation In a Calibrated Way

Are you a sociable guy whenever you go out? If not, lets start with focussing on being more friendly with strangers in general when you go out in public. During your day to day life, whenever you are out in public, if you are a sociable guy, you should be having conversations with strangers most days.

Maybe you’ll have a chat with the local store owner, the cashier, waiter etc. This is something you should be able to do in a calibrated way.

The problem with men is, when they start to think that the conversation is supposed to be a cold approach pick up, only then do the nerves kick in and guys often start acting a little weird. Almost as if the guy is trying too hard to impress her.

Let’s treat all conversations with women as if they are just like anyone else, let’s try to imagine they are not attractive and we are not trying to pick them up. I bet you will become a little more calibrated then, right?

Calibrating During The Cold Approach in Real Time

Having the ability to calibrate in real time to the evolving situation as it unfolds is another aspect of advanced game. Once a player realises that his initial strategy is not working, having the ability to pivot in real time during the interaction, will increase your success rate massively over the long run.

One of the main obstacles is having approach anxiety. If you are too nervous, this will slow down your thought process and hamper your ability to think on your feet.

Flow State

Being present in the moment during an interaction, only comes with exposure to rejection. Put in the time and effort to overcome your nervousness and this will help you to be more present in the moment. Having the ability to think clearly while in the interaction, will increase your conversion rate exponentially over time.

Being Meek Off The Cold Approach

Meekness is when you approach a girl out of fear. Trying not to receive an aggressive response from her, by cold approaching with a meek demeanour.

Sign you are being too meek :

• Approaching from behind because you don’t want to be an inconvenience to her
• Opening with a quiet voice, having such a low vocal tonality in an attempt not to draw attention from onlookers
• Having poor body language, hunched over, trying to look smaller and less of a threat when approaching
• Waiting until she walks down a quiet alleyway, because you fear onlookers seeing you approach her

All of these meek cold approach strategies will often make you look worse than what you intend of coming across like. Sometimes when a man is meek, he’ll seem like more of a threat to the woman, due to the creepy vibe he’ll give off.

Too Aggressive Off The Cold Approach

A personal anecdote from yesterday should explain this one. There’s a guy I know who’s been doing cold approach for years with zero lays. He’s actually not a bad looking guy, he hits the gym, he’s taller, younger, fitter than myself.

But his game sucks…

Yesterday I met him at the outdoor gym in Sydney Australia, we are currently under lockdown, so it’s the only place we can get some exercise in. We are standing in the outdoor gym talking, it’s situated in a park.

When a girl walks past us, he instantly stops talking to me and pivots directly at the girl with his hand out towards her. He says ”hey, come here” in an aggressive way, while walking towards her. She didn’t stop, so he kept walking behind her.

She then says ”you are getting too close to me and making me feel uncomfortable”. He returns to me…

Then I tell his to chill, that was ridiculous, but he doesn’t listen. This guy is not getting laid, he doesn’t listen and will continue being a nuisance to society. Please don’t be this guy.

Another version of being too aggressive, is the london daygame model which I’ve covered in length over the years. It’s an extremely aggressive cold approach strategy of jumping in front of women and being super direct. Simply put, being aggressive will only hurt your results over time.

Coming Across Like A Creep

Understand that some women will see you as a creep, no matter what you do or say, they are a minority, but it’s important to know that some girls will have an adverse reaction to cold approach and know that it’s not your fault under those circumstances. Also, if you get a bad reaction, take it as a lesson learned, don’t allow a bad reaction from a girl stop you from improving.

The last thing you want, is to come across like a creep or weirdo when cold approaching girls. How do you avoid that?

Well, the ability to approach in a way that’s normal to society, not being rude, which should be obvious, but to some guys it’s not that obvious. I like to think that indirect game is the hack that helps men avoid coming across like a creep.

Treat every interaction with a girl, just like talking to a friend, don’t try to push too hard and profess your undying love for her off the cold approach.

I’d say, knowing when you have crossed that invisible thin line and pulling back.

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.

Thank you for reading, please keep in touch.

Here are some of my best posts:

• Cold approach is a lifestyle (My Philosphy)
• What is indirect daygame
• What I say to Girls (Logistics)
• How to Write a PickUp field report
• How to spot a fake dating coach
• How I got laid in Japan (epic post)
• Why Thailand is NO longer good for getting laid

If you want to learn more about the sweet art of cold approach, Enquire here, join my group, where I’ll have a chat to you before entering. Get my free video series and finally, if you are adventurous, try my 30 day challenge.